WHAT ANIMAL ARE YOU IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
QUIZ
When it comes to how you respond to stress, are you a cobra, an opossum, or a deer? Take the quiz below to find out — and learn how that shows up when conflict arises.
KING COBRA
When you’re faced with stress and conflict do you…
OPOSSUM
When you’re faced with stress and conflict do you…
DEER
When you’re faced with stress and conflict do you…
Which animal do you check off the most boxes for?
KING COBRA
If you identify with the King Cobra, you tend to lash out, become critical or contemptuous, and get easily agitated when stressed.
This might look like yelling at your partner or complaining aggressively. At work, you might become confrontational with colleagues. Even after things cool down, you might replay the conflict in your mind. This response relates to the 'fight' reaction in fight, flight, or freeze. It's your body’s way of facing perceived threats aggressively.
Highly critical or contemptuous comments in conflict can sound like
Critical: “You are always just sitting around!”
Contemptuous: “You should be ashamed of yourself.”
Under outside stressors, a King Cobra might come home and stomp around or yell at their partner or kids at the slightest irritation. Under internal stress, they likely yell in conflict, say hurtful things, and slam doors. They struggle to hold their tongue and often say things they later regret, which can deeply hurt their partner and damage relationships.
OPOSSUM
The opossum plays dead in the face of stress and conflict.
You likely withdraw when things get tough. This might involve ignoring bills, clamming up in conversations, or ignoring work emails. This response is related to the 'freeze' reaction in fight, flight, or freeze. When overwhelmed, you struggle to act against the issue, feeling completely shut down.
In conflict, the opossum will stonewall their partner, not responding or engaging. With outside stressors, they let things fall apart without taking action, making it challenging for their partner who ends up cleaning the mess. In relationships, they disconnect and ignore overwhelming issues, hindering problem-solving and progress.
DEER
If you relate to the fearful deer, you might look for an exit as soon as conflict arises.
You might consider quitting your job if your boss is upset or avoid arguments by leaving the room. After cooling down, you might avoid revisiting the topic. This style relates to the 'flight' reaction in fight, flight, or freeze. Under stress, your body signals you to get away from perceived danger.
The deer runs away from problems, literally. They might engage in arguments initially but will find a way out. They say things like “forget this!” and stomp out of the room, avoiding reengagement. They might stay at work later or change the subject to avoid conflict. With outside stressors, they run from problems, sometimes creating more issues. This can lead to betrayals as they might not tell the whole truth to avoid conflict.